Learn Coder-Jargon

This article is intended to teach ordinary mortals a language used by the elite. A language similar to English in syntax, but very different in expression, everyone has a different name for it, but I like to call it ‘Coder-Jargon’.

When I began learning how to program, or ‘write code’ as I thought it was called then, the thing that troubled me most was the weird but cool-sounding jargon books and documentation used.  I spent hours on a mere sentence simply trying to decipher the meaning behind it. For example:

The implementation can be decoupled even more by deferring the presence of the implementation to the point where the abstraction is utilized.

It’s sentences like these that made me waste hours, now it may seem as if the author is talking about something extremely complex beyond the knowledge of mankind, but it actually is quite obvious, once you learn Coder-Jargon. Here’s the English translation of the above sentence:

You can break code into more pieces to make it simple.

See. Wasn’t that simple?

Common Phrases

Anyway, here are a few common English expressions and their Coder-Jargon equivalents to get started you started in writing and reading Coder-Jargon. The English version is stroked through and  the Coder-Jargon version typed in place.

  • I think : It is widely believed.
  • Me and my friends think : It is universally accepted
  • This is confusing. : It has some design flaws
  • It’s not working as I thought it would : Unpredictable run-time behavior.
  • It’s cool! : It is object-oriented!
  • Damn, I can’t get this thing to do as I say! : There’s a bug in the code-base

Words To Remember

Here are some important and their meaning to remember:

  • Functional Programming : The New Thing No One Understands But Talks About All The Time
  • Code Base : All Your Past Mistakes
  • Third-party Code : Code Mindlessly copied from CodeReview.SE or TopCoder.com .
  • User-Friendly : Has Lots Of Shiny Buttons, and comes with a Manual written in Arabic.
  • User-Interface : The Thing The Above Mentioned Manual Forgot to Discuss because it was too busy telling you how user-friendly it is.

If you’re also learning about writing Business Applications, you should learn these:

  • Intended-Audience : People we’re trying to rip-off.
  • Competitors : People we’re hoping to sue ( Learned this from Oracle ).
  • Demo Version : Exactly the same the Complete Enterprise Edition, but keep notifying you about how good the Enterprise Edition is compared to this one.
  • Open-Source : Software that was too buggy and useless to sell, so is being given out for free. (looking at you, Unix! ).

Some Translations

To make it easy, I’ve translated some sentences.

English Version

I like money, let’s try to make more of it and get richer!!!

Code-Jargon Translation

It may be considered a prudent step by the CEO, Board of Governors and the Human Resource & Development Staff to focus more on increasing investments in more profitable technology. This will over the course of time prove to be economically beneficial to all parties and will result in the company’s capital increasing, which in turn will result in increasing employee lending and will contribute to increase staff motivation and morale.

English Version

There’s this awesome new language out called C-Sharp! At first people thought it was just a Microsoft rip-off of Oracle’s Java, but now It’s got those cool feature called ‘lambdas’ that people think are awesome!

Code-Jargon Translation

C# is a general purpose programming language designed by Microsoft as part of it’s .NET strategy. It’s syntax is strongly based on Java, but there have been recent changes in newer versions of the language that have made it distinct. Newer Versions C# have implemented some features differently and have also added LINQ, a step which has increased its popularity and has strengthened it’s community.

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