family

The Destroyer

Never did I think a two-year old could cause such tremors of fear, such shudders of horror, such gasps of terror. Then my brother came along. Some call him “Bhaloo”, to some he is known as “The Boxer”, others simply refer to him as “That Man”. I call him “The Destroyer” (dramatic music). Some support him, some oppose him, some defend him, some resent him, all fear him. Not only has he managed to instill awe and fear into the hearts of everyone in the locality, including his 17 year old elder brother; in two short years, he has also established himself as the de-facto supreme ruler of the house.

Every whim, suggestion and wish of the his royal highness must be granted under any circumstances. Every order he gives must be executed without any delay. If he wants the laptop, he gets the laptop. If he wants the cell-phone, he gets the cell-phone. If he wants to watch Diego, his elder siblings are forced to immediately abandon whatever they are watching on TV, no matter how important or crucial it may be, and switch to Nickelodeon. If he wants to watch Baby Beluga, the unfortunate individual who happens to be using the laptop at that time is forced to go to youtube and open the Baby Beluga video.

slave

Displays of rebellion or resentment towards his absolute and unending rule are vanquished by a torrent of unbearable wails, each of which reverberates about the room, sending its echoes around the house, deafening everyone in a twenty kilometer radius. His elder brother, the lowliest of slaves, is instantly dispatched to the grocery store and to bring a kit-kat as compensation for his majesty’s displeasure.

Although his wailing and crying skills are prodigious, Ali’s specialty is the total annihilation of all household furniture and electronics. Leave him alone in the drawing room for half an hour, and a passer-by might be led to attribute the damage caused to an earthquake or a tornado. After Ali’s done with a room, you can’t just clear up the debris yourself, you need an entire SWAT team.

Perhaps his greatest achievement is the sabotage of all electronic equipment in the house. He has single handedly broken the arrow keys of both laptops, rendering them useless. He has literally cracked the motherboard of the new laptop, resulting in major repairs just 3 months after the laptop was bought, and last but not the least, he has irreversibly ruined the touch-screen of my cell phone by dropping a glass full of water onto it.

They say size is not an estimation of power. I’ve learnt this, the hard way. 😦

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